[ Dean is notorious for unhealthy coping mechanisms and questionable behavioral patterns. He's put on an act for so long, it's hard to even know who he is anymore, though slowly but surely, he's starting to figure that out, here.
Dean hadn't really banked on Cas factoring into the equation, but damned if he isn't here, solid and real, and Dean's eyes are fixed on him now, listening, really listening to what's being said instead of passing it off and deliberately misinterpreting.
The words make his hands shake, and he fervently wishes he'd brought the bottle outside with him because now his nerves are rattled and he's trying to figure out what to say, how to say it. He knows what he feels, and this is the end, and Cas was right when he said this might be our last night to make amends. Any day now, it could be the end, the dream or whatever could crumble and they could be dead. He's missed out on one last chance already. He doesn't want to miss out on another. ]
Cas..
[ He exhales, closes his eyes and takes a moment, heart frantically fluttering in his chest. ]
Want me how? [ He finally manages, voice rough, a little demanding, one hand curled into a fist so tight his knuckles are white, the other planting on the dirt, to lean him a little in Cas' direction, on tenterhooks, desperate for validation, for the things he needs to hear. ]
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Dean hadn't really banked on Cas factoring into the equation, but damned if he isn't here, solid and real, and Dean's eyes are fixed on him now, listening, really listening to what's being said instead of passing it off and deliberately misinterpreting.
The words make his hands shake, and he fervently wishes he'd brought the bottle outside with him because now his nerves are rattled and he's trying to figure out what to say, how to say it. He knows what he feels, and this is the end, and Cas was right when he said this might be our last night to make amends. Any day now, it could be the end, the dream or whatever could crumble and they could be dead. He's missed out on one last chance already. He doesn't want to miss out on another. ]
Cas..
[ He exhales, closes his eyes and takes a moment, heart frantically fluttering in his chest. ]
Want me how? [ He finally manages, voice rough, a little demanding, one hand curled into a fist so tight his knuckles are white, the other planting on the dirt, to lean him a little in Cas' direction, on tenterhooks, desperate for validation, for the things he needs to hear. ]