[ The unflinching coldness and the sharp accusation is nothing less than Castiel deserves from Dean. It's difficult not to feel like a burden; after all, would Dean be so rigidly stoic if not for him? But, this is a test to endure, he tells himself, like the story of Janet and Tam Lin. He holds on, face still pressed to Dean's nape and eyes closed against the accusation. He hadn't left Dean. Not really. He was there, watching over him, as ever. Telling Dean that would only make things worse, though, wouldn't it? For as sure as his grip is around Dean, his words are hesitant and soft, a ghost of warm breath against Dean's spine. ]
I'm sorry. I thought...
[ He'd thought that Dean was better off without him. He still believes that, and has no idea how to reconciliate that with his feelings for Dean and Dean's obvious reaction of loss. Nothing makes sense, except this. Cas sighs, fingers lifting only slightly to link with Dean's and tighten again. ]
Well, I was wrong, and you were right. I shouldn't have left. ...I missed this.
[ It doesn't take Cas more than a moment to correct himself, because this stilted embrace is a pale shadow compared to what they'd had, and he'd ruined, as he always does, somehow. ]
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I'm sorry. I thought...
[ He'd thought that Dean was better off without him. He still believes that, and has no idea how to reconciliate that with his feelings for Dean and Dean's obvious reaction of loss. Nothing makes sense, except this. Cas sighs, fingers lifting only slightly to link with Dean's and tighten again. ]
Well, I was wrong, and you were right. I shouldn't have left. ...I missed this.
[ It doesn't take Cas more than a moment to correct himself, because this stilted embrace is a pale shadow compared to what they'd had, and he'd ruined, as he always does, somehow. ]
I miss you.