Deerington Application

IN CHARACTER

Character Name: Castiel (AU)
Canon: Supernatural
Canon Point: Episode 5x04 "The End," from an alternate universe from the main storyline.

In-Game Tattoo Placement: upper back, curls up over his shoulders
Current Health/Status: Alive, en route to die in an asylum while fighting demons and crotes (zombies) but he hasn't made it that far yet. He doesn't have any illnesses per se but he does have an addiction to alcohol and narcotics, so if he doesn't get a steady supply of some kind, he will go through a very messy withdrawal.
Age: Mentally ancient, billions of years, but physically in his thirties.
Species: Former angel, though he's lost his grace that gave him his abilities, so he is mortal now and essentially human.

Content Warnings:
- Depression and related mental health issues
- Guns, war-typical violence, and themes related to a pandemic-caused apocalypse
- Recreational drug and alcohol use, addiction
- References to casual sex
- Religious themes (especially biblical / Christian themes portrayed in a way that may be considered sacrilegious)

History: Castiel's OU superwiki entry, which AU Castiel shares from pre-series up until episode 5x04, and AU Castiel's superwiki entry for episode 5x04. The AU in this episode differs from the OU in that Lucifer unleashed a demon virus called Croatoan that turns humans into what are essentially zombies, mindless and violent. He also took possession of Sam (who consented to it) but Dean refused to let Michael possess him, so the world was never destroyed (or saved) during their archangel fight-to-the-death, and instead it just became a typical post-apocalyptical hellscape. The AU is five years in the future from the OU, making it 2014 at the time Cas is taken from.

Personality:

PART I: The Fallen
And now I'm powerless. I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It's the end, baby. That's what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out?

To understand what Castiel has become in the darkest timeline at the end of the world in 2014 (powerless, hapless, hopeless), it's important to know who and what he was before. Castiel was an angel. When he's still an angel, he references witnessing ancient events firsthand, such as when fish adapted to land. He calls himself a soldier of Heaven and describes how he fought (physically, with magical weapons similar to short swords called angel blades) in a garrison alongside his fellow angels for thousands of years, and he formed friendships with many of them. Angels in Supernatural have an incredible amount of power. They can both teleport and travel through time using extradimensional "wings," they can heal their vessels (human they're possessing), and mend and clean their own clothing with a thought. They can cause harm to humans with a snap of their fingers, such as removing a human's lungs, breaking bones, carving sigils onto their ribs, or throwing them across the room. They can perform telekinesis and move objects, such as turning screws or spigots, without touching them. They can smite demons by placing a hand on their head, while demons in Supernatural can't be killed by humans without the aid of magical weapons (or a friendly angel).

This is how Castiel lived his life for billions of years. He believed that God was giving his superiors orders, even though he had never seen or heard from God himself, and he believed humans were lesser beings compared to angels, as all angels do. Some angels, like Lucifer and Uriel, took this hatred to an extreme and rebelled against Heaven (controlled mostly by its archangels Michael and Raphael) and God, and aided by demons (a species which Lucifer originated by twisting a human soul), sought to destroy humanity. Castiel aided Heaven for years in the battle against Lucifer and the protection of humanity, but the orders began to change. Michael and the other angels began preparing for "The Apocalypse" as foretold in Revelations, including destruction brought about by The Four Horseman, and a final fight between Michael and Lucifer (in the human vessels of Dean and Sam Winchester respectfully) that would kill billions and destroy half of the world. After having been assigned to watch over Dean and ensure he and Sam were set on the path to release Lucifer and begin the apocalypse, Castiel began to sympathize with Dean's emotional turmoil and with humanity in general. He rebelled against his orders from Heaven and tried to help Dean prevent Sam from releasing Lucifer, though their attempt failed and Castiel was killed.

Even after dying and being mysteriously resurrected, Castiel remained loyal to Dean and Sam's side (saving humanity) rather than rejoining Heaven. Because of his betrayal, he began to lose his powers, but it was a slow process over months. Meanwhile, Castiel began searching for God (literally) and aiding Dean in finding The Colt, a magical gun capable of killing an array of powerful beings, including demons, with only a few exceptions. In the original universe, Castiel fails to find God, they discover the Colt can't kill archangels like Lucifer, and Castiel continues to lose his powers. However, because Sam and Dean stay in contact and are able to help one another instead of fighting alone, by the end of 2009, they manage to destroy the warehouse where the Croatoan virus is being produced, and prevent Lucifer and Michael's fight by sending both of them (along with poor Sam and their half-brother Adam) into a locked cage in Hell.

In the alternate universe this Castiel is from, they aren't so lucky. Dean and Sam lose contact. Sam consents to being possessed by Lucifer, but Dean isn't there to break through the control Lucifer has on him, so Lucifer is never thrown into the cage. Dean never consents to being possessed by Michael, so all of the other angels leave Earth. Lucifer releases the Croatoan virus in 2012, and by 2014, the world is ravaged, demons and zombie-like humans run rampant, major cities are being quarantined or bombed to prevent the spread, and there are very few human survivors. Cas, having lost his powers by siding with Dean (including access to his wings, and with it access to teleportation and time-travel), isn't able to leave with the other angels even if he wanted to. He is mortal and for all intents and purposes, human.

"And now I'm powerless. I'm hapless, I'm hopeless." It's shown in the original verse that Castiel, though frustrated enough to drink to excess even as an angel, is capable of overcoming his struggles and continuing to fight. He stays sober for the duration of the time it takes to defeat Michael and Lucifer, and even without his powers, he remains determined to save humanity. He even comes to a physical altercation with Dean at one point when Dean is considering saying "yes" to Michael. He was powerless, hapless, but not hopeless.

The loss of the other angels and the ravaging of the Earth by the Croatoan virus and all the lives loss took its toll on him. Dean remains determined to kill Lucifer, and Castiel still remains loyal to Dean and this mission, but he can't bear the eight of his guilt for letting "the end of the world" happen. Even though Lucifer is still alive, he feels as if his fight is already over, that they have already lost, and that Dean's mission has become a selfish one borne of revenge, not in preservation of humanity. "It's the end, baby."

PART II: Cope
(laughing) I wish I could just "strap on my wings" but I'm sorry, no dice.

So how does Castiel deal with this newfound helplessness, crushing weight of guilt for his failures, and feeling of hopelessness? In the OU, he "found a liquor store" and "drank it," a method of coping he likely learned from watching Dean deal with his own sense of hopelessness by drinking. Dean is someone that Castiel, as an angel, admired. Rather than look down on humans, Dean was the human who inspired Castiel to question the orders he was given, form his own moral system, and make his own judgements, which angels weren't ever encouraged to do. In fact, Castiel as an angel was reprimanded for sympathizing with Dean. It makes sense, then, that Castiel would continue to look to Dean for advice after he's lost his powers. Dean is an escapist who turns to alcohol, sex, and drugs to avoid his problems. Cas seems to have taken this example to an extreme. While he was awkward, stiff, virginal, and inexperienced in the original universe, we see Castiel in this universe as loose and friendly, flirting with women (and Dean), drinking and popping pills, laughing and making jokes, not for the sake of having fun but as method of masking his pain. We see this most clearly when Dean from the OU asks about his wings. It's a very sensitive, hurtful issue for this Castiel, but he doesn't yell at Dean or cry or explain solemnly that his wings are gone. He laughs.

PART III: An Angel By Any Other Name
I thought you'd gotten over trying to label me.

For billions of years, Castiel identified as an angel. When he first met Dean on Earth, Dean asked, "What are you?" and Castiel answer, "I'm an angel of the Lord." When Dean from the OU asks this AU version of Castiel, "what's going on with the drugs and the orgies and the love-guru crap?" Castiel laughs and tells him, "I'm not an angel anymore." He calls himself mortal and "practically human," but never goes so far as to call himself human. Without his grace, Cas doesn't know how to define himself. Dean constantly throws labels at him like "hippie" and "love guru" but Castiel rejects them. Cas has a statue of Buddah in his room and wears Tibetan prayer beads, a religion that is specifically non-Christian, despite formerly being a literal angel from a Christian religion himself. Even though he seems to prefer the teachings of Buddhism ("existence is suffering, suffering is caused by attachment, freeing oneself from attachment leads to nirvana, the path to nirvana is doing the right thing"), he doesn't ever mention Buddhism or identify as Buddhist. Cas is afraid of being pinned to one identity because he is rejecting the person (angel) he used to be. He was severely damaged by the loss, not of his grace and his powers, but by his identity as an angel, and he's trying to prevent that from happening again.

PART VI: The Eightfold Path
Our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth.

In the OU, physically torturing others was something Dean was morally against but was forced, by being tortured himself, to endure in Hell. A few months later, the angels asked Dean to torture a demon, and Dean refused. Castiel was the one who convinced Dean to do it, though he lamented, "I would give anything not to have you do this." Dean was visibly upset both during and after the session, and Castiel witnessed this. Now in 2014, Dean from the OU learns that AU Dean is torturing demons for information, and he's upset by it. Castiel shows disappointment and regret. The morals that Dean instill in him years ago are still present. He still believes that torture is wrong, but he doesn't fight Dean on the point, only explains it to his younger self and laughs when it's pointed out. Despite having become hopeless and turned to drugs and sex to cope with these feelings of loss and depression, he still wants to do what's right, even if Dean no longer does. Though Castiel is still loyal to Dean and his mission, he shows discomfort with Dean's methods, even though he knows Dean's mind won't be changed and that, too, is a lost battle.

PART V: The Wise Fool
Oh, good. It's right in the middle of a hot zone.

Though Castiel plays at being lackadaisical, sitting on the floor, putting his feet up on tables and drinking during meetings, and smiling and laughing through his bitter feelings, he is still rational and willing to fight. He's hopeless and arguably unafraid of dying (by overdose or in a fight with demons or crotes), but he cares about the welfare of others. Though he can be sarcastic, it's out of concern for other people, not to disparage them. He points out that Dean's plan is reckless and dangerous because it won't only be endangering himself or Dean, but everyone else who comes on the mission, also. When Dean shoots a member of their camp, Castiel doesn't try to stop him, or turn away to drink more or laugh it off, he watches silently with disappointment and sadness. Cas argues that OU!Dean shouldn't come on the mission because it would needlessly endanger him, but when AU!Dean insists, Castiel stops arguing. Castiel still knows what's right and agrees with how Dean in the OU would handle things, but his loyalty to Dean, even after Dean's changed, and his hopelessness has him going along with Dean's plans, regardless of his own opinions.

Castiel is nothing like what he once was. He was proud, and now he's humble. He was virginal and shy, and now he's crass. He was hopeful, and now he's hopeless. He tries desperately to bury his pain in alcohol, drugs, and sex, but his sense of guilt and responsibility for his poor decisions haunt him in a way he can never completely numb. He tries to focus outward when he can, to continue fighting for Dean and for humanity as he used to, but both Dean and humanity are also shadows of what they once were, and the fight wears on Cas. Still, he endures it. If nothing else, Castiel is a survivor. He has adapted, albeit in unhealthy ways. He remains a strong and competent fighter, though without the angelic powers he would prefer, and he is still a voice of reason in insane times as he's always been, though his sound advice is now cut with laughter and sarcastic wit as he struggles against demons, real and of his own mind, to survive.

Abilities/Powers/Weaknesses & Warping: AU!Castiel has lost his grace, which is the energy that gives an angel its powers. Therefore, this version of Castiel no longer has any of the powers and abilities he had as an angel. He is essentially a base level human and mourns the fact that breaking his foot took months to heal whereas when he was an angel, he was stabbed and able to heal himself instantly with no ill effects. Since he's now powerless, no warping by the game is necessary.

However, he does retain his memories of being an angel, which spans knowledge of billions of years of Earth's history (including how to scavenge for and brew his own absinthe, but not most of Earth's modern slang, technology, or pop culture references). He also retains and has gained more human abilities he's learned to adapt to mortal life, like driving a vehicle, fighting with a gun (having already had previous experience as an angel with both hand to hand combat and fighting with a blade for thousands of years), strategizing a conflict before the fight, and general social skills, especially related to the mixing of drugs and petitioning of casual sex.

Inventory:
- The clothes on his back, which includes a canvas jacket, thin shirt, prayer bead bracelet, jeans, and work boots.
- A handgun (9mm M19, black), including belt holster and single magazine of 22 bullets
- A green military-issue duffle bag with a change of clothing, first-aid kit, box of condoms, half-empty unlabeled bottle of absinthe, and prescription bottle of Adderall (10 mg, 21 pills).

Writing Samples:
[ Waking up in an ominous pine forest with towering trees, echoing voices, and something monstrous that's trying to kill him isn't pleasant, but at least it's believable. Feels like a nightmare or bad trip, but that's not all that different from the world Cas lives in. When he wakes up a second time, though, to a brightly lit room on an honest to God mattress? This has to be a dream. Castiel sits up and slides slowly out of the bed with the same creeping slink as a startled cat. He looks around wide-eyed, interested and afraid, and he rubs a thumb over his stumbled chin. Strange. He's lived for thousands of years, flown across the world thousands of times, but he can't remember ever being in this exact room before.

His shoulders ache like they're on fire, and he stretches his back an digs a hand beneath his shirt, rubbing at the soreness, only to feel raised scars under his hands. Cas looks at his fingertips, startled, but there's nothing there. He rubs his fingertips together, thoughtful, and searches the room for a mirror. Determined, he rolls his shoulders out of his jacket, dropping it carelessly to the floor, and he pulls his shirt up over his head. The fabric's barely down his arms when he's turning his back on the mirror and looking over his shoulder at his reflection. There's black, spindly ink there. With horror, he mistakes them for wings at first, before realizing they're antlers. He laughs. They're too much like the charred remains of wings.

"Well, that's a first," he mumbles to himself, scrubbing his hands over his eyes as he stumbles, shirtless back over to the bed. "I must've been fucked even for me." He doesn't remember getting a tattoo, doesn't remember leaving that asylum he was leading his group into, has no idea what's real anymore. He's completely lost it. But there's his bag by the bed, and his hands shake as he opens the zipper and digs through the clothes and the supplies for something useful— Whatever he can find. His hand wraps around a bottle and he uncorks it without confirming what it is and throws back a long swallow of it. The absinthe taste is instantly relaxing, comforting the way a kind word or an embrace should be, and Castiel closes his eyes and sighs. This is going to be a long dream. ]

OUT OF CHARACTER

Player Name: Frog
Player Age: 36
Player Contact: PM foolintherain

What themes of horror/psychological thrillers do you enjoy the most?: (CW: descriptions of graphic violence) To give you an idea, my favorite horror movie is Se7en. I also love Silence of the Lambs, the original Saw, and Midsommar, to name a few. I love twists where characters are forced to endure watching other characters suffer, or they have to choose between their own survival and the survival or others, including their loved ones. I like dramatic gore when it's done for a purpose, like mutilating yourself to escape a trap, stuffing and burning a corpse to appease vengeful gods, or flaying the skin off someone's back and hanging them by it to make it look like they have wings. I also love creepy atmospheres in general, like foggy empty fields, cobwebbed houses, and old, overgrown sewers where you can't tell if something is lurking or not, but it's obvious humans don't often go there.
Is there anything in particular you absolutely need specific content warnings for?: suicide. ideation is fine, but i would like a content warning for the actual act.
Additional Information:

Permissions

Content Warnings for Castiel include:
- Recovery from addiction, dependency, and recreational drug/alcohol use
- Depression and related mental health issues
- Guns, violence, ritualistic use of blood
- Religious themes, especially biblical/Christian themes portrayed in a way that may be considered sacrilegious

Please respond here or PM me if you'd like to opt out of anything/everything.


⇓in character⇓

PHYSICAL AFFECTION: y
PHYSICAL VIOLENCE: y
ROMANCE/FLIRTING: y
SEXUAL CONTENT: y
PSYCHIC ABILITIES: y (ask oocly for permision)
MAGIC/POWERS: y
OFFENSIVE SUBJECTS OR TRIGGERS: See above for Castiel's content warnings. He's not particularly triggered, but God will always be a touchy subject.

⇓out of character⇓

BACKTAGGING: y
FOURTH WALLING: y
THREADHOPPING: y (as long as both parties give permission)
CONTENT I ABSOLUTELY NEED WARNINGS FOR, BUT CAN STILL PLAY: none
CONTENT I ABSOLUTELY NEED WARNINGS FOR AND THAT I CAN'T PLAY:: Noncon, suicide (including witnessing someone else's or recovering their body)
ANYTHING ELSE: pm me if you have any questions or concerns